Not a Typical Story

Every story has a beginning. But this is not your typical story.

This is the convergence of love, life, grief, God, and a smile that could light up a room.

 

My brother Ryan..... has inspired me to become the best version of myself. And I want that for everyone.

 

Ryan was and is a lot of things. The most glaringly obviously to me, and to my family, is that Ryan is absent. Physically gone from the earth as we know it. The circumstances surrounding this truth are best left to discuss another time, but let me introduce you to my reality, briefly:

 

On April 25, 2013 - just 8 weeks shy of his 24th birthday, my one and only brother felt so tormented by an inner struggle we can only label as "Bipolar Disorder", that he took his own life.

Even staring at the grim words that I just typed send chills down my spine and tears to my eyes.

 

Maybe over the course of my lifetime, and through the medium of a blog, I can unpack the grief so tightly bound within my heart. Maybe I can shed some light on mental illness, or bring understanding to a world full of judgment and labels. Maybe not.

Maybe this is all too new, too raw, too something-I-cannot-describe. Maybe this will alienate me. Maybe this will free my heart from the responsibility of being a brother's keeper, to a brother who is no longer my charge. Maybe.

 

And while the world doesn't stop for my post full of 'maybes', I trudge on, patiently and faithfully, ever prayerful for peace from Jesus.

 

 --Julie--